


Cloak and Dagger

by renfics



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Jedi Reader (Star Wars), Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Tropes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:48:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27470728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renfics/pseuds/renfics
Summary: You had once loved Ben Solo.  You still loved Kylo Ren.  But having left the First Order behind, you wanted him back.  With Kylo now the Supreme Leader, his inaugural ball seemed like the perfect opportunity to reach him.Despite knowing the dangers, you decided to go undercover to get back the man you love.
Relationships: Ben Solo/Reader, Kylo Ren/Reader
Kudos: 35





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on my [Tumblr](https://renfics.tumblr.com)

“Commander Y/L/N, it’s not safe. I won’t allow it.” Leia marched through the Resistance Base, with you on her heels.

“General, you know I’m the only one who can get through to him!” You protested, but she wasn’t letting up.

“And I agree with you, but going _alone_ into the middle of the First Order? It’s too dangerous.” Leia stopped walking and turned to face you, “I want him back just as much as you do, but we need to be smart about this.” With that, she continued walking, and in her eyes that was the end of discussion. But you weren’t giving up that easily.

“I understand your concern, but I know the First Order better than anyone. I can easily use the Force to get in.” You continued to fight your case, still following after her.

“I’m not concerned about you getting in, I’m more concerned about them discovering you whilst you’re there.” She sighed.

“They _won’t!_ ” You assured her, “Please, General trust me!”

Leia stopped to look at you, she was clearly calculating. Eventually, she came to the realisation that you were going to go either way, and you had a much higher chance of success with her support rather than without it.

“Fine, but we are planning this. Every detail.” She warned you, and you vigorously nodded in agreement.

The planning was mostly down to you but was simply supported by Leia and the Resistance. You had all of the inside knowledge of the First Order. You had been spared by Ben Solo when Luke Skywalker’s Jedi temple fell. He loved you too much to fathom killing you, and you loved him too much to leave his side. You, therefore, both ended up serving the First Order.

You had been connected by the Force since the day you had first met at the temple. It was only natural that romance would blossom from such a connection, but never to the knowledge of Master Skywalker. As far as anyone else was concerned, attachments were forbidden and you were both just friends.

After joining the First Order, as time went on your morals were screaming at you to get out. You didn’t agree in the slightest with the atrocities you were being ordered to commit, and unlike Kylo Ren you had never fully embraced the dark side. In reality, Snoke had only put up with you because he knew that if he killed you he would lose his grip on Kylo.

Eventually, you couldn’t stand it anymore, it broke your heart to leave Ben, or Kylo, behind but you had to do it for yourself. You couldn’t spend the rest of your life compromising for him.

It hadn’t been long until the Resistance had tracked you down, and although you had been hesitant to rejoin the fight at first, in fear of coming face to face with Kylo Ren, you realised that you were possibly one of the only people in the galaxy who could save him from himself.

You had loved Ben Solo, and you still loved Kylo Ren. You just wanted him back, and you were going to extreme lengths to get to him.

Snoke was dead, and you knew from Rey that it had been down to him. But now Kylo Ren was the Supreme Leader, and the First Order was holding an inaugural ball in celebration. You knew that Kylo would be grouchy about having to attend any kind of formal affair, and you equally saw it as the perfect opportunity to reach him.

If you could infiltrate the ball, you could hopefully get a chance to talk to him. He was Supreme Leader now, and despite Rey insisting that he wasn’t turning to the light, you weren’t ready to give up on him. Your connection through the Force meant that you knew Kylo still loved you, he always had, and you were relying heavily on that.

“If you want to back out now, we’ll understand.” Leia tried one final time to wear you down, but you firmly shook your head.

“No, this is something I have to do. I couldn’t live with myself if I don’t at least try.” You were confident in your words, and in your plan.

You took a final look in the mirror and smoothed down the dress you were wearing. It hadn’t been easy to get your hands on the garment, but Leia was a well-connected woman and still a princess at that, she had contacted an old friend and had a dress made for you.

For an undercover mission, you were ironically in danger of standing out. But hiding in plain sight was going to have to be the tactic on this occasion.

The dress was an eye-catching red satin, simple in design but equally flattering on your body. It hit the floor and had a slit running up your left leg. Your favourite part was that the dress was actually designed with practicality in mind. Whilst it perfectly accentuated every curve on your body, the slit up the side not only gave you manoeuvrability in case of combat but it also gave you access to where your Lightsaber hilt was strapped to the thigh of your right leg.

“Y/N.” Leia held you back a moment before you boarded the ship due to take you to the Finalizer, “Please be careful.” She urged you one last time, before looking away briefly, “And bring Ben home.” She then added, meeting your eyes.

“I’ll do my best.” You told her, disappearing on board your transport.

“Next stop, the Finalizer!” Poe grinned at you as he took off. He had insisted on being the one to pilot for you.

He had gone to great lengths to steal a ship that was registered to another guest. It was a craft that couldn’t be traced back to the Resistance, and really the ship was the least of your worries. So long as it got you onboard, you weren’t concerned. It was what came afterwards that concerned you.

“We’re approaching the shields now,” Poe called, and you moved up to the cockpit to lean over his seat and watch out of the viewpoint with him.

You both exhaled a sigh of relief when the ship passed through the shields with ease.

“I guess this is your stop.” Poe flew slowly towards the hanger bay, following the line of ships ahead of him, all dropping off distinguished guests.

“Wish me luck.” You tried to appear as lighthearted as you could, but now that you were here your heart was sinking.

Was this a hopeless endeavour? No. Kylo Ren wasn’t lost yet, at least not to you. A tremendous amount of energy was going into shrouding yourself in the Force - if he sensed your presence it would be over before it had begun.

“Good luck Y/N.” He sincerely told you. Poe never pretended to understand why you wanted to undertake this mission, and he had been vocal against it all the way through, but he accepted that now it was the eleventh hour and there was no stopping you. "I won’t be far, comm me when you’re ready for a pickup.“

You were too wracked by nerves and focused on concealing yourself in the Force to respond with any words, so you just gave him a nod.

Following the trend, as soon as he landed, he lowered the boarding ramp and you exited the safety of the craft.

"Invitation and credentials please, Ma'am.” A stormtrooper immediately approached, and all down the line of other ships dropping off guests other troopers were performing the same duties.

Leia had initially been worried about you being recognised, but following Kylo’s example, you had opted for wearing a mask when you had joined the Order. It was the best you could do to separate yourself from your Jedi identity, but it was only superficial, it hadn’t changed you within. The only people who would recognise your face were Kylo and a select few members of High Command, whom you simply had to avoid.

“You’ve already verified me.” You quietly said, tapping into the Force for the briefest moment as you waved your hand in front of the trooper’s face, hoping that it wouldn’t be enough to get Kylo’s attention from wherever he was.

“I’ve already verified you.” He repeated back to you in his trance, “Enjoy your evening Ma'am.”

You nodded and paused to watch Poe’s ship disappear back into the distance. Now you were on your own.

Taking a deep breath, you followed the other guests towards the blast doors leading out of the hangar bay and into the function room. You knew your way around the Finalizer well enough, but you were visibly shocked when you saw the decor in the function room - it looked completely different.

The usually solid steel walls were draped with black and red fabrics, chandeliers hung from the ceiling, a dance floor had been built in the centre of the room, and a bar towards the far end. Serving droids were buzzing around with trays of drinks and finger-foods. It was hard to believe that you were aboard the Finalizer and not on planet surface in some royal palace.

Drinks were clearly flowing, in fact, you appeared to be the only person without a drink in your hand, but you weren’t willing to rectify that. You didn’t want to drink in the fear that any alcohol would ruin your focus and make your presence known to the Supreme Leader. There were loud murmurs of conversation over the sound of the string band playing a classical waltz.

You needed to start mingling but also actively avoid anyone who would recognise your face. Thankfully the perfect opportunity presented itself to you.

“Excuse me, may I have this dance?” A man approached. He was slightly older than you, wearing formal robes. "I noticed you looking at the dance floor.“ He clarified. He was rather handsome, but still not the man you were searching for.

"Oh-” You turned, studying the man’s features to make sure you didn’t recognise him. You then nervously glanced over his shoulder where you could see General Pryde just a mere few meters away. He was someone who would certainly know your face. "-Uh, I’d love to!“ You quickly agreed, taking the man’s arm and swiftly pulling him to the dance floor. Hopefully there you could disappear into the crowd.

His arm snaked around your waist, yours resting on his shoulder as you swayed in time with the music. The movements were giving you a good chance to look around the room - but there was still no sign of Kylo.

"I’ve never seen you at one of the First Order mixers. I’d remember a face as beautiful as yours.” The man remarked, a flashy grin on his lips. His words pulled your attention back to him, and for the first time, you were able to study his face. He had dirty blonde hair and striking blue eyes, conventionally attractive, but equally the polar opposite of the man you loved.

“I’m nobody special.” You sheepishly smiled, “I’m here representing Wytha. We’re just a tiny planet in the outer rim, not much to offer other than access to a good trade route I’m afraid.” The way you sold your words had the man you were dancing with totally believing that Wytha was actually a real planet.

Leia had insisted that you devise a simple and believable cover for yourself, and suddenly you were grateful for it.

“Now I’m sure you have more to offer than just a trade route, especially if your beauty is anything to judge your planet by.” He was certainly charming, but sadly for him, he was just a means to an end.

As you were spun around by your would-be-suitor, you could see a bustle of officers gathering by the grand entrance. They were surely getting ready to introduce their new leader.

“Distinguished guests, please be upstanding for your new Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren.” Sure enough, a voice rang out, and you broke away from your partner. Your eyes were fixated on the blast doors, which flew open to reveal Kylo. You inhaled a sharp breath when you laid eyes on him, he was just as handsome as the day you had first seen him at the Jedi temple, all those years ago.

He looked different to when you had last seen him, however. Stronger, more sure of himself, and dressed in his black formal robes, adorned with a cape - he certainly looked the part of Supreme Leader.

“All hail our new leader.” Your attention was suddenly pulled back to the charming gentleman behind you, who was sneering slightly. Of course, you had assumed Kylo’s leadership would not sit well with everyone, but you were certain that he would have them all in line soon - if you didn’t get to him first.

Kylo’s expression remained blank, but he disappeared into the crowd to exchange pleasantries amongst his guests. You were relieved that he didn’t seem to have sensed you in the Force, perhaps things would go to plan after all. As he disappeared, you didn’t turn back to the man you were dancing with, “-excuse me.” You muttered, pushing through the crowd of dancing couples to get off the dance floor.

“Wait!” He called, “I didn’t even get your name-” but you were gone before he could protest any further. He sighed in defeat, a man such as him would surely find a more suitable partner with ease.

You moved subtly through the crowd, blending in with groups who were talking and exchanging stories, feigning laughter where necessary. You could see the back of Kylo’s head, and as you got closer your anxiety was rising. What if he alerted someone to your presence on the spot? Maker, what if he killed you on the spot? A lot of your plan was relying on his love for you.

Kylo was engaged in conversation with a number of diplomats. Well, they were engaged in conversation whilst he silently nodded and accepted their flurry of compliments on his rise to leadership.

As you slowly approached, a number of the people in his schmoozing-circle glanced at you. You ignored them, with a bulk of your focus going into hiding your presence in the Force for these final few moments, all the energy you had left was going into approaching the man you loved.

The chatter dulled as you got closer, now within reaching distance of Kylo. All eyes were on you, all except Kylo’s.

“Supreme Leader-” You softly spoke to get his attention.

His body visibly stiffened, and he didn’t dare turn around, but he couldn’t risk making a scene in front of his guests. But your voice, he recognised it instantly, and now that you weren’t masking your presence in the Force your energy washed over him like a warm blanket in the snow.

As he inhaled and turned to face you, that very breath got caught in his throat. In all the years he had known you, he had never seen you like this. The red dress was stunning, it was entirely different from the Jedi robes, dirtied battle robes, or training clothes he had grown so used to seeing you wear.

When your eyes met his, your pupils softened, “-May I have this dance?” You then finished your sentence. It was cliche, of course it was. But you needed an apt excuse to draw him away from his guests and that seemed to be the best course of action.

No words left his lips, but not for lack of trying. His mouth opened but no sound came out - he was truly stunned, and the people behind him were exchanging glances amongst themselves. What woman could possibly have their Supreme Leader acting in such a way?

Silently, you reached down to take his hand, and he didn’t dispute it. You led him away from the group and left them to their aimless chatter.

When you reached the dance floor, the string band was playing a slow classical piece, enough for couples to simply stand and sway. Kylo’s body was still stiff, but at this point, you assumed it was half because you were making him dance. In all of your years together, you had never danced with him.

Reluctantly, his large hand moved to rest on your waist, yours on his shoulder and you gently swayed in time with the music.

“What are you doing here?” He finally spoke, his tone rich with emotion. You couldn’t pinpoint what that emotion was - love, longing, distaste? It all seemed to merge into one.

“I’m here for you.” You said plainly, “to bring you home.”

His face hardened at this, your conversation remaining hushed. "Then you’re wasting your time. This is my home.“

"It’s as much your home as the Resistance is mine.” You squeezed his broad shoulder slightly, pausing to take a deep breath before baring your soul to him, “Since leaving, nothing’s felt right. Not because I left the First Order, but because I left _you._ You’re my home, Kylo, you always were.” Your words trailed off slightly towards the end, but that didn’t make them any less true.

The Jedi temple hadn’t been your home, Ben Solo had. Even when he became Kylo Ren he was all that kept you loyal to the dark side. Without him your life had felt so empty, he was half of your very being.

He remained silent for an uncomfortable amount of time. Calculating every word before he spoke it, “I can’t leave.” Was eventually all he had managed to say, but you knew better than that, you could sense that he had wanted to say so much more.

“If you didn’t care about me, I’d either be dead or strapped to an interrogation chair by now.” You pointed out.

Before Kylo could respond, over his shoulder you spotted the man you had previously been dancing with. He looked as though he was avidly searching for someone amongst the crowds, and you were immediately concerned that it was you.

“Dip me.” You quickly urged Kylo, who furrowed his brow.

“What?”

With no time to explain and your pursuer turning to look right down your eye-line, you dropped yourself backwards, forcing Kylo to catch you by your waist and lean forward to dip slightly with you.

After a moment he pulled you back up towards his chest and you returned to swaying.

“Who are you avoiding?” He asked, clearly trying to divert the conversation to anything except the current scenario.

“Someone who was inadvertently helping me avoid Pryde earlier.” You brushed off the comment, but it left a silence hanging in the air between you.

You were glancing at those around you, still concerned about being spotted. Meanwhile, Kylo was just looking at you, studying your face, committing every one of your features to memory.

“I miss you.” He broke the silence with his quiet admission, and you turned your attention back to him, now blocking out the world around you.

“Then come with me. We could leave, right now. We can leave this war behind and start a new life together.” At this point you were pleading with him, this wasn’t your war, it never had been.

“You know I can’t do that.” He hoarsely responded.

“Give me one good reason why not.” You challenged him. You could feel how conflicted he was, and the only thing holding him back was his desire for victory against the Resistance and to rule over the galaxy.

“I-” Kylo began to respond, and for a moment you truly thought he was going to say that he would give it all up for you, but before the words could leave his mouth a voice approached you from behind. Kylo’s expression immediately dropped, and his hands were quick to slip away from your waist.

“Commander Y/L/N. I must say it is most surprising to see a Jedi traitor amongst the guests for our inaugural ball.” General Pryde sneered, and you dared not turn around. Everything had been going perfectly, but you had just let your guard down for too long.

“Never mind about the threatening speech General, Supreme Leader Ren has already explained to me in graphic detail about how he’s planning on killing me.” You stepped away from Kylo, your eye contact with him not breaking. You knew it wasn’t fair to paint Kylo in a bad light, and if you did your chances of survival were bound to drop.

As far as Pryde was concerned, Kylo had been on the dance floor threatening you, blending in to not make a scene amongst the other guests. Although it wasn’t the most believable story, it was the best explanation for what the General had seen. Now it was down to Kylo to reassert himself.

“Get the guards in here.” Kylo reluctantly said, causing Pryde to yell out the order himself. Clearly, he was relishing in your capture. In the eyes of the First Order, you were a filthy traitor… if only they had known that you had never been loyal to them in the first instance.

General Pryde’s summoning of the stormtroopers on guard unsurprisingly caught the attention of every guest in the room. The background noise dulled down to silence and all eyes were instantly on you.

You didn’t reach for your Lightsaber yet, not until you were able to assess the situation. A group of approximately ten stormtroopers surrounded you, weapons raised. The guests who had been nearby you had been quickly ushered backwards, leaving just you, Kylo, Pryde and the troopers on the dance floor.

Pryde moved closer to Kylo who was stood frozen on the spot, “Sir, might I suggest that a display of power could prove very beneficial in this scenario.” He whispered to Ren, but you easily overheard.

It was true, if Kylo killed you in front of this crowd it would certainly cement his authority as Supreme Leader. But you were convinced that he couldn’t do it.

“Hands up, traitor.” One stormtrooper jabbed his blaster towards you, and you raised your hands in surrender.

“Kill her, Supreme Leader,” Pryde suggested more strongly this time, and around you indistinct mummers were rising as the tensions in the room reached breaking point.

Kylo stepped towards where you stood with your arms raised, and you didn’t flinch as he stared you down.

“I’m sorry.” He quietly said. There was a lot that he could be sorry for.

Sorry that Pryde had interrupted, sorry that he wasn’t in a position to help you, sorry that you weren’t able to run away from the war together.

“I’m sorry too.” You replied. But you knew exactly why you were apologising.

You were sorry that you weren’t going to go quietly.


	2. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With your undercover mission now a train wreck, your only option is to fight your way out of the First Order. But the big question is: can you rely on Kylo to help you or not?

_“I’m sorry too.”_

Those had been your final words before you made your move. You inched your left hand forwards from where it was raised above your head and summoned your Lightsaber hilt. It came flying out from where it had been strapped to your right thigh, passing easily through the slit in your dress.

You activated it, the blue blade roaring to life. Immediately every trooper surrounding you took a cautious step back, and even Kylo looked shocked - nobody had anticipated you to be armed. You drew the blade back to hold it with both hands in a defensive stance across your face, the Saber casting a blue glow over your skin.

“Don’t.” Kylo quietly warned you, Pryde shooting him a glance, awaiting orders.

You narrowed your eyes at him, and that said enough. You weren’t going to surrender, and that left Kylo between a rock and a hard place. He didn’t want to order fire on you, but he had no choice. The entire First Order was watching him now, the pressure was all on his shoulders as Supreme Leader.

“Fire.” He said, his voice catching in his throat slightly. Ten stormtroopers, he knew they wouldn’t pose an issue for you. But that was what he was afraid of, the moment that he had to step in and do something himself.

Before the troopers could react, you pushed a number of them away with the Force, and whilst the others began to fire their blasters you had a chance to block and deflect the bolts. Some of the deflected bolts flew back and hit unwitting troopers, and this technique had the crowd thinning quickly.

Meanwhile all of the guests watched on in earnest. Only guests of the First Order would avidly watch conflict rather than run from it.

The dress had plenty of manoeuvrability, however you couldn’t say the same for the heels that your feet were trapped in. But you just had to make do.

As the stormtroopers you had pushed away recovered and began to fire on you, you threw yourself down and slid across the floor to close the gap between you and them. Before climbing back to your feet you sliced at one trooper’s ankles, sending him tumbling to the ground.

The remaining three were easy pickings, you threw your Saber at one and it struck him to the ground. Whilst your weapon was out of your grasp, you outstretched your left hand and pulled a trooper into your hand. Meanwhile, your Saber flew back into your right hand just in time for you to slice down the man in your grip.

“Enough.” Kylo interjected, catching your attention just before you cut down the last trooper, who breathed a sigh of relief to have his life spared.

You turned back to the Supreme Leader, to the man you loved, twirling your Saber in your hand. The blue hue contrasted with your red dress, but nobody in that room could deny that you looke powerful.

Bile rose in Kylo’s throat as he pulled out his own Saber. He was silently pleading with you to surrender, to not make him have to do this.

The trooper near you was quickly backing off, allowing the Supreme Leader to take control. Pryde stood and watched and the guests… they looked like they were on the verge of placing bets. They were perhaps enjoying it a bit too much.

“You know I’m not going to kill you.” You said as you began to circle each other.

“I know.” He replied, his eyes were so conflicted.

Whether he would kill you or not was a different story. But deep down you believed that he loved you enough to spare you.

Aware of judgemental gazes, Kylo eventually swung his Saber at you. It was a sloppy movement, and you deflected it with ease. He was toying with you, trying to bide his time whilst he came up with a plan.

The only good option for you in this scenario was escape, but that was much easier said than done. Poe was on standby waiting for your call, all you had to do was somehow knock Kylo out - nobody else would stand a chance against you.

Your blades clashed, the red and blue hues sending purple sparks flying through the air. However, you kicked his shin to get free, your heeled shoe making the impact even more painful. At least they were good for something.

As Kylo grunted and stumbled backwards to recover, you didn’t give him time as you swung at him again, slow enough that you knew he would have time to counter it. Your brain was abuzz, trying to work out the best way to floor Kylo without actually hurting him. Meanwhile his own thoughts were mirroring yours, but he had the additional pressure of not being able to let you win as it would severely hurt his reputation as Supreme Leader. Hell, he barely had a reputation yet, which would make losing to a Jedi an even worse start to his reign.

The two of you were locked in a stalemate combat for some time. You knew every one of his moves, just as he knew yours. You had been training together for nearly your whole lives, there was no tactic one of you knew that the other didn’t.

What you didn’t see out of the corner of your eye however, was Pryde snatching the blaster from the stormtrooper whom you had previously spared. Kylo spotted what was going on before you, and his eyes widened, looking at you and opening his mouth to warn you. But it was too late, Pryde fired the blaster just as you were turning around and the bolt struck you in the thigh.

Had he been aiming to kill you? If he had, then he was a terrible shot.

You buckled to the ground, your Lightsaber deactivating as you dropped it. The General then approached, jabbing the blaster into the side of your head. Kylo remained silent, his mouth dry. Now was the time to think on his feet.

“Permission to execute this traitor, Supreme Leader.” Pryde spat, practically revelling in the opportunity to shoot you.

Whispers were rising amongst the crowd, they had all seen their new Supreme Leader fight and they were impressed. Ironically you had infiltrated this event to take Kylo away with you, not to boost his image.

“No.” He cooly replied, causing Pryde’s head to snap and face him.

“ _No?”_ He questioned, in disbelief. His eyes spoke a thousand words: ‘Supreme Leader, the whole of our faculty is watching, we need to kill her.’

“She has information about the Resistance that we need. Get her to an interrogation room, and have a med-droid see to that wound before she bleeds out.” He ordered, his voice not wavering for a second.

You breathed a small sigh of relief as the blaster was lowered, sending Kylo a silent 'thank you’ through the Force.

There were nods and mutters of approval from the crowd of various diplomats. At least they got a show out of it if anything. You just wished Pryde hadn’t caught you, you were so close to convincing Kylo to leave with you, you were sure of it.

The trooper you had spared hauled you to your feet, and you winced as soon as pressure was put on your leg, blood slowly spilling over your skin. He had a tight grip on your arm, preventing you from buckling to the ground. As you were dragged out of the function room, Kylo bent down to pick up your Saber hilt, clipping it to his belt alongside his own.

Your last lifeline now was Poe. He had strict orders that if you hadn’t contacted him by the time the other guests were leaving the ball, he was to report it straight to Leia and a rescue mission was to be put into motion.

Black spots were beginning to appear in the corners of your eyes. With only one trooper escorting you, you had hoped that this would be your chance to escape, but the wound in your thigh was going to prevent you from making it very far.

You knew your way around the Finalizer better than any of these troopers, so you knew exactly where you were when you approached the interrogation chambers. A second trooper joined you and grabbed your free arm. Between the pair of them they hauled you into the room and strapped you into the interrogation chair.

You had seen many enemies of the First Order in these chairs, watched them be tortured and have information forcefully extracted from their minds. On occasion you had even been the one extracting it. Oh how the tables had now turned…

Your thigh was burning with pain, and the only moment you felt relief was when a med-droid came whirring into the room. It silently began cleaning the wound and subsequently applied a bacta-patch which immediately soothed you.

With the blood flow now stopped, you began to regain your focus. The troopers who had secured you in the chair were now stood guard at the door, you knew that they were no longer permitted to guard alone ever since Rey had used the Force to manipulate a single trooper into aiding her escape.

Pulling at the restraints was useless, and the only person you could reach out to with the Force was Kylo. Something told you that wasn’t the best idea right now. He was feeling conflicted, you could feel it. You just hoped he would make the right decision.

Some time passed, and General Pryde entered through the blast doors. It could have been an hour, or just a few minutes. These rooms were specifically designed to disorientate interrogation subjects, and they were certainly effective.

You could see that he was accompanied by what you recognised as an IT-O Interrogator, which was practically just a droid programmed to torture.

At the sight of the droid you struggled slightly just on instinct, and a sick smirk appeared on Pryde’s lips. He was clearly anticipating your demise.

“Tell me where the Resistance base is, and I’ll make your death quick.” He hissed, getting uncomfortably close to your face.

You grimaced, pulling you head away from his as much as you physically could.

“I’m not telling you anything, Pryde.” You defied him, and he should have known that no matter what pain he inflicted on you, you wouldn’t talk.

The trouble was he probably did know that torturing you was hopeless, but he would still do it because he enjoyed watching you suffer. In his eyes you were a betrayer of the First Order.

“Very well, have it your way.” He sneered, motioning for the droid to approach you.

You struggled, despite being strapped down with no manoeuvrability. Even the damn droid looked like it was taunting you, continuously sparking its electrified tazer attachments together as it approached.

Holding your breath, you braced yourself for the pain that was to come. Now the wound in your thigh was the least of your worries.

Elsewhere, Kylo was pacing back and forth on the bridge, having excused himself from the rest of the ball, he was lost in his own thoughts. He didn’t know what to do.

He had no interest in becoming Ben Solo again, he still considered his old identity to be dead, and weak. But you, you had changed everything. You had made him _want_ to leave the First Order. He had wanted to leave just to be with you.

When you had left, it had broken his heart. He understood why you had gone, but he had also vowed to himself that he would do whatever it takes to get you back. Perhaps the key to getting you back was leaving with you.

He didn’t have much time to consider things. A wave of pain rippled through the Force, and he knew it came from you.

Kylo stormed off the bridge, violently shoving an officer out of his way as he left. He was still dressed in his formal robes and his guests were still in the function room, dancing and drinking the night away as if they hadn’t just witnessed a Jedi cut down multiple stormtroopers. His only priority now was you.

Your body had gone limp from the amount the droid had brutally electrocuted you. Your head hung downwards, but Pryde clearly was just getting started.

“This is your last chance to talk.” He snapped, grabbing a fistful of your hair and pulling your head backwards to force you to look at him.

“Fuck you.” You decided to use your last opportunity to speak wisely. To add insult to injury, you spat in his face which caused him to immediately let you go and recoil.

“You traitorous _filth_!” He yelled this time, “Kill her!” He ordered the droid, which approached painstakingly slowly.

Your eyes shut, and you prepared yourself for the inevitable. But when you heard the unmistakeable sound of blast doors, your eyes snapped back open.

“Kylo-” You quietly breathed out, relieved to see him storming in.

“I told you to interrogate her, not kill her.” He spoke in a low growl at Pryde.

“She won’t talk Supreme Leader, it’s no use.” Pryde protested.

“Get out. Let me see to this.” This was always the process with prisoners who withstood the IT-O droid, he would take control and use the Force to invade their mind.

“With all due respect Supreme Leader, I would very much like to see this interrogation through.” Pryde was taking great joy in watching your suffering. He was very proud, and was well-known to penalise any deserters of the First Order.

Kylo’s hands balled into fists, and you looked at him, curious. He was angry about Pryde staying, mostly because he couldn’t find an excuse to make him leave that wouldn’t look suspicious. A few people had been aware of your relationship when you had been a member of the Order, and the General was one of them… he didn’t trust leaving the two of you alone.

“Very well.” He grumbled, looking at you as he outstretched his arm. His eyes softened for a moment, he was silently apologising to you for what was to come, but you always recognised his touch in your mind, and you knew he could never hurt you.

You didn’t fight it when he invaded your thoughts, in fact the opposite, you welcomed him. He could easily read the minds of most people, but you were an equal match for him and that meant you had enough control to choose which thoughts you pushed to the forefront of your mind.

Kylo wasn’t going to get the location of the Resistance base, but he was going to get a trip down memory lane.

_“I wish we could stay here forever.” You gave a content sigh as you looked up at the sky, which was brushed with an orange hue as the sun set._

_“Me too.” Ben agreed, his hand rubbing small circles on your back._

_Training had ended just a few hours ago, and Master Skywalker had sent everyone back to their huts for the night. But when you and his nephew weren’t sneaking to each other’s huts to spend the night, you were out somewhere on the vast grounds of the temple - just spending quality time together._

_You lay on the grass, your head on his chest. Despite Skywalker knowing that the pair of you were bonded in the Force, he still forbade attachments as that was the traditional Jedi way. Not to mention that he worried about his nephew and the possible corruption of the dark side._

_“I love you.” Ben suddenly broke the silence, and you immediately shifted to rest on your elbow and look up at him. "Please, promise me you won’t leave me, no matter what.“_

_"I love you too.” The words tumbled from your lips before you even had to consider them, “I’ll never leave you.” You then quietly confirmed, utterly naive of the days to come. But in that moment your heart was full, and when Ben had kissed you, you thought that nothing could ever separate you._

Kylo couldn’t bring himself to pull away from your mind and find what he was supposed to be searching for. To relive those moments when you had both been so naive and vulnerable, they were the moments he had tried his hardest to forget. But Ben Solo’s emotions now felt as raw as they had the day he had first confessed his love for you.

Suddenly the control was pulled away from you. The nature of your Force-bond meant that a door opened could be entered from both sides. Whilst Kylo invaded your mind, you unwittingly were pulled into his.

_“I can’t do this anymore, Kylo.” You confessed as tears filled your eyes, “it’s tearing me apart.”_

_“Where will you go?” His voice was hoarse , and he didn’t know what else to say. He desperately wanted to beg you not to leave him, but he knew that your mind was already made up._

_“I don’t know.” You chuckled dryly, sniffing as tears began to roll down your cheeks, “It’s time for me to explore the galaxy a bit more.”_

_Kylo’s mouth was dry, and he swallowed the lump in his throat. "Please don’t leave me.“ He finally choked out, his own eyes welling up._

_You couldn’t meet his eyes now, you were afraid that if you did you would never leave. "I’m sorry.” You turned to leave your shared quarters, a bag slung over your shoulder._

_“You promised you’d never leave me…” You could hear him mutter, which only broke your heart even more. The words you had spoken to Ben Solo all those years ago had never stung so much._

For General Pryde, only a few moments had passed, but for you and Kylo it had felt like an eternity.

You were both shaken back into reality, and Kylo quickly withdrew his hand, stumbling back a few steps so he stood behind Pryde, who was studying your face carefully.

You felt tears rolling down your cheeks, you hadn’t noticed yourself crying but it was a reflection of the memory you had seen in Kylo’s head. Leaving him was the hardest thing you had ever had to do.

“Did you get what we need, Supreme Leader?” Pryde then turned to Kylo, whose lips were pressed in a firm line. He solemnly nodded in response. "Then might I suggest that we finish this traitor now? One less Jedi running around would certainly help our cause.“ This had nothing to do with the Resistance, or Jedi, it was just Pryde’s personal agenda.

You weren’t just a traitor, but a weakness to their Supreme Leader. Realistically you could pose a greater threat to the First Order than the entire Resistance.

Kylo drew his Lightsaber the second Pryde shut his mouth, and you were in disbelief. After everything he had just seen how could he turn on you so easily? Did the memories remind him of the pain that came with emotions? Perhaps this was how he intended to cut them off entirely.

"Kylo, don’t-” You pleaded with him, casting your eyes to the red blade. But as you looked at him you saw your own Saber hanging from his belt. It was a slim chance, but you had to at least try…

Opening the palm of your dominant hand you reached out with the Force, and you could see your hilt beginning to shift slightly. You focused, and just as Kylo was raising his blade to swing it the Saber flew into your hand and roared to life. The best you could do was flip the blade to protect your face.

But Kylo’s Saber didn’t hit your face, it instead sliced the shackle holding your wrist.

“What are you doing?”Pryde boomed, moving to shove his own Supreme Leader aside in a fit of rage and panic. "She is _scum!“_

Kylo was planning on cutting Pryde to pieces for addressing either of you in that way, but the second he freed the hand you were holding your Saber in, you lunged forward and plunged it into Pryde’s chest.

"That’s Jedi scum to you.” You hissed, dropping his body. Although perhaps that hadn’t been a very Jedi move on your part…

Your limbs were screaming at you as soon as you put pressure on them, particularly the leg that had been shot earlier.

But none of that mattered, you buried the pain for the moment. You stood up tall and looked at Kylo, unable to find the words. So he found them instead.

“Let’s go.”

“And by go… you mean?” You hesitantly asked as you strapped your Saber hilt back to your thigh, your heart leaping at the notion that Kylo had just chosen to free you, and you didn’t doubt for a second that he would have killed Pryde for you.

“I’ll stay here, I’ll leave, I’ll go anywhere, as long as it’s with you.” He quietly admitted.

You never thought you’d hear the words leave his mouth, and your breath caught in your throat when they did.

But that was it, minutes later you were in the hanger aboard his ship. With his own Inaugural Ball in full swing still, there was nobody around to stop or question you.

There was no planning, you had no belongings, you were still wearing your kriffing gown and heels. But you had each other, and that was all you were going to need. It was all you had ever needed.

Lightyears away, at the Resistance Base on Ajan Kloss, Poe had returned after not hearing from you and he rushed straight to Leia to inform her.

“General Organa! I think something went wrong at the ball, Y/N hasn’t been in contact.” He spluttered to get the words out of his mouth, and Leia placed a hand on his shoulder.

She focused for a moment and reached out into the Force. For the first time, the first time in as long as she could remember, she felt her son’s presence truly at peace. That told her all she needed to know.

“She’s going to be fine, Poe. They both are…” She spoke that last bit under her breath, a smile settling on her lips.

As you and Kylo flew away from the Finalizer, there was so much unspoken between you. But you would have plenty of time to talk about it. You knew it was the right thing, the Force had drawn you together all of those years ago and now you were finally dropping everything just to be together.

“I did promise I’d never leave you.” You spoke, catching Kylo’s attention as he got you out of First Order airspace, “and I didn’t.” You then added, a small smile on your lips.

You had risked everything to go back for him, and against all the odds it had actually paid off.

“You didn’t.” He agreed, jumping the ship to hyperspace.

Now the galaxy was yours to explore. Not as Jedi, or Sith but just as people.

You didn’t care if he was Ben, or Kylo - you just wanted him to be with you, and he had been more than happy to drop it all for that offer.


	3. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Kylo have been enjoying your new life together, away from the First Order and the Resistance, but now you have news that might shake everything up.

Your palms were sweating. You hadn’t felt this nervous since the night you approached Kylo at his inaugural ball - that had been two standard planetary rotations ago.

Everything had been perfect, but this… _this_ could ruin everything.

Since discovering your accidental pregnancy a few days ago, you had been trying desperately to mask the growing presence in the Force. You had to be the one to tell Kylo yourself. But how he would react? That was currently up for debate.

Since fleeing the First Order with him you had settled in the most remote area of Naboo, with the help of Leia. He may not have been Ben Solo, but Leia was nevertheless thrilled to have her son back in some way, shape or form. You, in particular, had wanted to go somewhere less remote, like Coruscant, but Leia had aptly pointed out that Kylo had a widely recognisable face across the galaxy. Even after defecting, he had still been the face of the First Order for a short time. They had no choice but to go somewhere quiet in the outer rim since joining the Resistance was never an option for Kylo.

You generally both cured your boredom by training together. There was little else to do, and until the galaxy was ready to accept Kylo Ren, or Ben Solo again, you had no choice but to stay put. Despite it all, you wouldn’t change it for anything. Kylo leaving the First Order for you was a gesture of his love, and a day didn’t go by where you didn’t appreciate that.

It wasn’t the action-packed life either of you were used to or yearned for, but it was about to get a whole lot more exciting with this news. Whether that was good exciting or bad exciting, you still weren’t sure.

You approached Kylo where he sat cross-legged in the middle of the grassy fields you generally used for training. He was meditating, trying to find his balance between light and dark. He fell into neither category anymore, he was something in between.

“Kylo.” You gently called, but he was still stuck in his own meditation. "Kylo-“ you moved closer to him, eventually crouching in front of him, "Ky.” You eventually had to shake him out of him, and his eyes snapped open to meet yours.

“Is everything okay?” He immediately went to a place of worry, he always assumed that one day the First Order would catch up with you, but you always told him it was just paranoia.

“Everything’s fine.” You assured him, “I just needed to talk to you about something.”

He nodded, standing up when you did and gesturing for you to go ahead.

Suddenly your mouth went dry, how were you supposed to tell him this news? Especially when you couldn’t possibly gauge his reaction.

Eventually, he placed his hand on the side of your face, sensing that this was something you were afraid to tell him, “what’s wrong? You know you can tell me anything.” He still had the rough edges of Kylo Ren, but now with the combined softness of Ben Solo.

You still were at a loss for words, and you soon realised that you had to show him rather than tell him.

Taking his hand from your face, you moved it to rest against your stomach, releasing the barrier you had built up through the Force so he could sense the presence.

His brow furrowed at first, but as he reached out into the Force he felt the tiny flicker growing within you. His eyes widened as he looked back to you.

“You’re-” his breath hitched and you simply nodded, biting your lip in anticipation.

“I am.” Your heart was pounding as you tried to work out if he was happy or not.

Kylo paused for a moment, but in one swift movement, he swept you up into his arms and hung onto you for dear life, his face dipping to bury itself in between your neck and shoulder.

You were more than relieved to return the embrace, feeling as though a weight was being lifted off your shoulders, and when he put you down your arms remained linked behind his neck.

“So you’re happy?” You breathlessly asked him.

“My love, this is happiest I’ve been in a long time.” He told you, unable to hide the grin on his face.

You responded only by pressing your lips to his in a passionate kiss. It wasn’t how you had expected your life to go, but now you wouldn’t change it for the entire galaxy.


End file.
